DC Reviews

It is often said that Watchmen is the most influential comic ever to be released. That comics wouldn’t be where they are without it, for good and for ill. But how did we get here, exactly? More to the point, just what influence did Watchmen provide to the larger world of comics? What, ultimately, is the legacy of Watchmen? Who watched the Watchmen?

“Poo-tee-weet?” one bird says to Billy Pilgrim. There is a fire. A man is in a box. A man is a giant. A man’s hand is smashing a window. Billy Pilgrim is in a box. A man is in a slaughterhouse. There is a war. The man is torn apart. A man discovers a conspiracy. A man is shot. A man is shaking hands with a friend. A man refuses to save the President. A man is screaming. A man is rebuilding himself. Jon Osterman is in a box. A woman is shot. A man kills the woman he loves. A man does nothing. Mars smiles. A box is glowing. A box is burning. A man swears revenge upon a stranger. A man shoots Billy Pilgrim. Jon Osterman does nothing. A bomb is dropping.

It is all going ghastly. A sun burns electric. Aliens are abducting Billy Pilgrim. Jon Osterman is burnt asunder. Billy Pilgrim steps out of a shrubbery. Jon Osterman reads a newspaper. Billy Pilgrim goes on a radio show. Jon Osterman goes on a talk show. Billy Pilgrim is dead. Jon Osterman leaves. A man is told that the world will end for reasons that could be prevented, but won’t. It has already happened. It is already done. A man claims nothing ever ends. [Read more…] about Who Watched the Watchmen? Before Watchmen: Dr. Manhattan

It is often said that Watchmen is the most influential comic ever to be released. That comics wouldn’t be where they are without it, for good and for ill. But how did we get here, exactly? More to the point, just what influence did Watchmen provide to the larger world of comics? What, ultimately, is the legacy of Watchmen? Who watched the Watchmen?

Let’s get this out of the way; Yes, Rorschach is the coolest character in Watchmen. Now, I know a lot of people don’t like to hear that. Twitter leftist types mainly. “Oh, now can you say Rorschach is cool? He’s violent! He’s a bigot! He doesn’t support restorative justice and police abolition!” And to that I say…so what? None of that changes the fact that he’s the coolest dude in the book. Sure, Rorschach is a bigoted rape apologist who reads the 1980s equivalent of Brietbart, but Alan Moore still gave him all the coolest parts of the story. No one else erupts from a fridge. No one else kills a man by breaking a toilet. No one else says, “I’m not locked up in here with you. You’re locked up in here with me,” which is possibly the coolest line ever written in comics. Being a good person has never been a requirement for being cool. The key to Rorschach’s coolness in Watchmen are two factors: his brilliantly crafted dialogue and the creativity of his violence.

Watchmen gives Rorschach a plethora of cool lines. The screaming “I’m not locked up in here with you.” The calm, couldn’t-care-less-about-your-threats delivery of “Tall order” and “Fat chance.” The sheer power of “I’ll look down and whisper No.” I may not personally care for the work of Alan Moore, but I will freely admit that the man is a dab hand at dialogue. Before Watchmen: Rorschach, conversely, doesn’t give Rorschach a single good line. His first line of spoken dialogue in this comic is “Bitch to be you right now.” This, to put it mildly, fucking sucks ass. This line is so bad I just had to google it to make sure it wasn’t a reference to a crime movie I haven’t seen. Alan Moore gave Rorschach a very deliberate way of speaking. He has an incredibly brisk manner of speaking that implies a calculated utilitarianism in what he chooses to say (comically at odds with the overwrought manner in which he journals). I would posit that Rorschach has one of the most defined character voices in all of comics, and Azzarello has ignored it on the first line to have Rorschach talk like a second rate Yoda.

[Read more…] about Who Watched the Watchmen? Before Watchmen: Rorschach