Green Lantern Movie Gets More Respect Than It Deserves

Yesterday news broke HARD that Quentin Tarantino liked Green Lantern.

I like Quentin Tarantino. I’m a very casual fan, but I enjoy my Inglorious Bastards like the next guy. Still, critically acclaimed director or not, Tarantino has gone too far with his latest comments. I’m a tolerant man (can hold my liquor quite well, thank you very much) but a man saying he likes the Green Lantern movie? That is appalling behavior. That is a crime in the eyes of humanity. That is just plain wrong.

Now I get that Tarantino’s list is not a subjective critical analysis of “the best” movies of 2011. These are just his favorites. And I get that this means he can include Rise of the Planet of the Apes and have it make sense in the number two spot for the entire year. It’s a fun time and a clever idea. Fair enough, Quentin.

I also get that Green Lantern doesn’t even make his top 11 list, and is instead under the section “Movies I Liked.” He simply liked it. Can’t I let the man who brought the world Pulp Fiction enjoy a movie.

No. Not when that movie is Green Lantern.

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Although it may seem that Green Lantern falls under the same umbrella of “fun time action bangin!” as Rise of the Planet of the Apes, you and I both know this to be untrue. The reasons are many:

1) There is not a single compelling character in the movie – The complete lack of charisma throughout Green Lantern is so pervasive that I don’t even know who to blame. Ryan Reynolds for phoning in his Hal Jordan and pulling off the rare anti-Downey Jr.? The writers and directors for giving the audience zero reason to care about any of the film? God for allowing this travesty?

God Let Green Lantern Happen — But what about His quality control?

End of the day, it doesn’t really matter why. The filmmakers involved took some cool, established DC characters and flattened them. Hal Jordan, Sinestro, Carol, Kilowog… None of ’em stood a chance. The only guy who captures any part of the long-term memory is Hector Hammond and ain’t nobody walking out a damn theater remembering the name Hector Hammond.

2) This film has zero funny moments – For the most part, Quentin writes some graphic, honest movies. They are far from comedies, but the man knows when to include comedy. I still quote Brad Pitts “arevederci” in casual conversation.

Green Lantern? No laughs. Not a one. They try a little, what with those trailer-made moments of hilarity, but the movie winds up deadly serious. A seriously deadly approach for any movie.

3) Green Lantern gives other film a bad name – It really does. This is particularly true for the Big-budget superhero genre that Quentin endorses with his love for X-Men: First Class. With that movie you had a director and writers trying to infuse some life and emotion into established heroes and villains. With Green Lantern you have a director and writers trying to earn a buck with special effects. That’s bad for movies everywhere, period.

Will I forgive Quentin for this egregious error? Probably. Will I forgive Green Lantern for bombing the soul out of one of favorite DC heroes? Less Likely.

What do you think? Quentin out his damn mind like a common loon with this pick? Or is Green Lantern underrated? Shout in the comments!